Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
