i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
