:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Success! We fucked roommates!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
