Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
