4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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