Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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