These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
