i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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