I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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