I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
