All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Did I show you my penis last night?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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