The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
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