I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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