then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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