We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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