Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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