It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
