Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize