I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
