Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Screwed.edu
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
