Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
