There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
