she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
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I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
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You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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