My brain says no but my pants say off.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
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