he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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