their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We named our party play list daddy issues
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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