"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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