Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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