I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
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