I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
