so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
