I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
