lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
