Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
pray to the hookup gods
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
