is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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