Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The feeling are messing with the penis
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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