I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
