I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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