Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
