They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Someone signed my nipple.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
