I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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