..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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