I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
