well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
