we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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