I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We need to rekindle our bromance
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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