You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
