you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I have aggressive nipples.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
