It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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