I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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