He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
