some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
