i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize