I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
