I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Randomize