? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
