hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
