Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I love you. Go after that dick
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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