based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
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I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
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All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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