His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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