There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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