a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
