Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
