If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Enjoy the penises
Why are your pants in the freezer?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
