i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Duck Duck Cougar?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
