dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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