It's like God shit irony all over that family
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The beer is more important than you right now.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
