So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
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i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
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Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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