Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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