Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
