i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
